Why you can’t feel them after they die

by | Oct 2, 2021 | Mediumship | 2 comments

How come we can’t feel them right away after they pass?  It can be so confusing, as we want to know they arrived safely.

When they pass, our loved ones close their eyes in this world, and open them in the next. Just like that. In a blink of an eye. There’s no in-between, no limbo, no gates. Everyone no matter who they are or how they pass arrives instantly in the spirit world.

Someone reached out to me recently in my Facebook group, thePsychic AF


My father just passed, I’m in the house, but I can’t feel him.

First off, so sorry to hear of anyone close to us that passes and it’s such a sad and confusing time full of many emotions. One of them might be a need to know they are OK and arrived safely. It’s important to feel them and know they are with us in this new way.

It’s easy to wonder if they are stuck or in limbo, or if there’s some kind of waiting period.

For a moment, imagine you have just arrived in the spirit world your – what would you do first? I imagine you’d want to see the ones closest to you to let them know you’re OK.  With a thought, you can be beside anyone you want. No plane tickets needed.


When you can’t feel them after they pass, it’s not them, it’s you.

Even if it’s somebody that you’ve been by their bedside for days, weeks, months, when it finally happens, it’s big. It’s big for us to process.

It’s not because they’re not there, it’s because we’re dealing with our own very human, very normal feelings of grief.

Sometimes the grief process needs to wait a little bit before we can feel them again, even before racing off and seeing a medium, because sometimes our own emotions are so big, even the best medium can’t quite get through that, our human part, not the spirit part.

That’s all that’s going on.

We have to grieve

When my beautiful dog rescue dog Brucey, that I had for eight years passed, I couldn’t feel him either. I was devastated. I could not feel him for ages until it was reminded to me by someone who was very gentle and a lot more experienced than I.

“It’s your own grief process. You’re stopping it.”

And often we’re so desperately wanting it, but there’s all these other emotions going on.

If you’ve lost somebody immediately and you don’t feel them, it’s normal, it’s human, it’s our grieving process.

They are not stuck

It’s nothing to do with whether they are stuck or not, whether they love you, whether they’ve gone somewhere or they’re reincarnated.

Just let the dust settle a little bit, and I promise you that they are doing their utmost to get through to you to leave you the signs. Leave you those funky coincidences, have that song played on the radio that was his special song or her special song. The flowers, the smells, the random photographs, all of that is coming your way, I promise.

Because one thing I know, love never dies.

And when we close our eyes in this world, we open them in the next.

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  1. Gemma

    Just what I needed to read today xo

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